Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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