I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
