She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
