she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize