You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
