What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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