Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
