Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
