I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
