Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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