I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
