So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
