this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
