I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
