you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
