We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
