It was confusing and full of hummus
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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