Dual....:-)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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