Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
