Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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