I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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