I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
