I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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