No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
