Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
