i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize