Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
