Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
