im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
