Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
