dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
