this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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