i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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