Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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