There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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