The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
