I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You don't make any sense
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