i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
