i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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