thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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