Swine flu. Run for my life!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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