how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
