her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
