would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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