I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
