it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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