I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
