we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
3 2 1 whiskey
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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