Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
