on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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