giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
