dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
