It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Say something about gay babies.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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