she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
