What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
