I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
