so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
