just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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