just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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