found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if only i could text you this smell
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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